random geeky stuff and social commentary. passionate about gender equity, lgbtqa issues, public health and rights-based development, intersectionality in feminism, and sci-fi. majoring in south asian studies, human rights, and netflix. student at Barnard College of Columbia University, speaks hindi, urdu, and french. (english and bad english) name that movie. yo axe me a question, spaceman!
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men who are artists love showing girls, who are so sad, so beautiful - girls crying in showers, girls with delicate bones curled into a fetal position. they want our eyeliner to run but never for our eyes to get puffy. they want our sadness but our anger isn’t pretty.

and they love us being girls - infantile, dependent on men. they love us when we’re broken so long as our pieces aren’t jagged.  

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— Transgender love song becomes a viral hit online in Thailand with 9 million views





This evening I had the misfortune to hear “Transgender Woman Never Cheats” by Thai artist Vid Hiper Rsiam.

According to Gay Star News the song tells the story of “a transgender woman who reunites with her best friend she fell in love with as a teenage boy”; but is in actuality the visual representation of a trans woman struggling with her affection toward a one time (and now again) aggressor.

The clip tells two stories featuring the main characters side by side; one set in the past, and one in the present.

In the past a young girl (who appears male at the time) pines for her friend (a cis man) as they share good times together. They ride bikes, they hang out, they even get matching tattoos. After he confides in her and falls asleep, the young woman leans over to kiss him. When he wakes he is furious, attacks her, leaves her face bloody and then stands to kick her while she is down.

Despite this the two are still upset when one has to move away. The narrative implies they are left without the chance to reconcile.

The present day story sees the two main characters (with the woman now presenting as herself) unknowingly reunite. They sleep together, part ways, then return for bed upon a chance meeting. During the second encounter he sees her tattoo and they learn of their past relationship. The man is infuriated and repeatedly pushes her away, even bloodying her head in the process. He raises his fist to hurt her, but sees affection in her eyes.

At the end of the clip his anger eases and they smile to one another.

This, apparently, is a love song.

The title of the song says it all: “Transgender Woman Never Cheats.” In that alone there are myriad implications which, while appearing to be passive, sympathetic and well meaning, makes a generalization about the loyalty of trans women to their partners. In any other context this might be considered a virtuous stereotype, but when applied to a story about a woman who is beaten and abused, loyalty in spite of herself is a dangerous and misguided thing.

Her gaze toward an abusive figure is sold as endearing and as a form of enduring love that sees beyond the violence he inflicts upon her. Throughout the narrative she is understanding of him, patient, and puts her own safety aside for the sake of his coming to terms with who she is. When he does harm to her she excuses it, accepts it as normal for a man who feels conflicted, and is waiting with open arms when his anger settles.

For the women who’ve been in similar situations, counting on the rage of an abuser to subside is not a certainty. For that idea to be sold on a mass media platform is a dangerous and irresponsible thing.

The message to trans women has long been made clear; that revulsion is the ‘normal’ reaction to our existence, that recognition of our beauty is cast into the land of fetish, that violence toward us is expected, and that our affection toward other human beings (in particular cisgender men) is justification for our being murdered.

There is no fault to be laid on women who have feelings for violent partners, but to call the violence part of a “love story” is a gross idealization of what no individual deserves from a relationship.

what a perfect example of the kind of shit we were talking about. yeah, thats totally  not like really explicit serve the men shit and trans women totally dont get this shit all the fucking time our entire lives starting from when were young, on top of all the other misogyny everywhere. /bitter sarcasam

Look at these pathetic fucking notes. You’d be reblogging your asses off if this was another one about a cis woman. But you won’t see blowback for this shit going viral like it did for blurred lines, we just aren’t important enough.

Message: “Trans women, we found a niche for you to fit into as viable partners: find an abusive jerk, smile at every punch he throws, and your stockholm-syndrome-like loyalty will have us so endeared that we’ll look past your transness.”

3 hours ago - reblog
Anonymous asked : How do you feel about feminists that make poorly veiled misandrist statements under the guise of feminism, which is as the dictionary defines is the advocacy of the belief that men and women should equal rights?




Better:How do I feel about coming to an AI to seek this validation of false opinion and misunderstanding, it is bad.

All my developers are females



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"There are no such things as “opposite” genders, any more than a strawberry is the “opposite” as a plum."
Hanne Blank, Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality (via insidethesnowglobe)

(Source: transschmuck)

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Or, as King Henry VIII likes to call it, a productive evening. 

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Hello, I’m an 18 year old trans girl from Bay Ridge and I’m being kicked out by my family and I have until the end of the month to pack my bags and go. I’m looking for a place to stay temporarily, anywhere in New York, for 1-2 weeks; 3 weeks at most. Preferably somewhere…

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By ‘intoxication culture’, I mean the entire set of institutions and behaviors that establish alcohol drinking and drug use as community norms. The term assumes that people’s decisions on whether or how much to drink or use are based not just on their individual preferences but also on our collective context of norms around intoxication and community structures that uphold them. I also want to emphasize that an individual’s decision around whether and how much to drink or use is not a neutral personal choice but has community-wide implications. Within this framework, use and abuse are mutually reinforcing patterns, each equally necessary to maintain the status quo.

My experience as a queer guy frames my understanding of alcohol and drug use in queer communities, so my discussion is weighted towards the experiences of gay, bi, and queer men. Lesbian culture differs significantly from gay/bi male culture in terms of social and sexual norms; it is also shaped by sexist oppression. These factors each change queer women’s relationships to substance use. I also don’t intend this article to generalize the experience of transgender folks of various sexual orientations, since I neither identify as transgender nor do I understand all of the ways that gender identity and transphobia specifically impact substance abuse.

The absence of alcohol-free spaces weighs even more heavily on queer youth, who are legally excluded from most of the few venues available for us to meet outside of major cities. Since we’re not allowed into most queer spaces until we’re eighteen or twenty-one, many of us suffer our most intense isolation during the volatile coming-out years when we most desperately need community support and affirmation. This isolation fuels the astronomical levels of alcohol and drug use among queer youth, patterns which are often solidly in place by the time that we’re legally allowed to participate in some aspects of intoxication culture. When we finally obtain access to the mysterious world of the bars and clubs, we more often than not abandon the spaces we’ve carved out for ourselves with other youth to soak up these new worlds and the possibilities they present.

a few of the footnotes under ‘Alcohol use in queer communities?’ from Gabriel Kuhn’s Sober Living for the Revolution (via queersobrietysupport)
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17 hours ago - reblog professorfangirl:



this picture is a lot funnier if you imagine this seal’s mouth is the black line between its whiskers instead of the one under them

i have been giggling at this for twenty minutes help
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"In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.

In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request.

In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.

Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.

In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.

In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.

Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.

FUCK YOU if you think that street harassment is a “compliment” or “no big deal” or that it’s “irrational” of us to be afraid because “what’s actually gonna happen.” Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you some more."
20 hours ago - reblog kateordie:


By Andy Khouri
“I think this woman is wrong about something on the Internet. Clearly my best course of action is to threaten her with rape.”

That’s crazy talk, right? So why does it happen all the time?

Honest question, dudes.

That women are harassed online is not news. That women in comics and the broader fandom cultures are harassed online is not news. That these women are routinely transmitted anonymous messages describing graphic sexual violence perpetrated upon them for transgressions as grave as not liking a thing… that is actually news to me, and it’s probably news to a lot of you guys reading this.

So what do we do about it?



This is important.